“Can You Sleep Train a Newborn?” (Spoiler: Not Really)
Throughout my career in childcare and countless conversations with parents, one topic consistently comes up: sleep. We know sleep impacts so many parts of our health, brain function, and mood, so it’s no wonder new parents are often thinking about sleep training before their baby even arrives.
Welcoming a baby brings so many changes, and when you add in the impending sleep deprivation, it can feel overwhelming. With Sleep Awareness Week happening April 23–29, I want to take a moment to talk about newborn sleep and what that really looks like for postpartum families.
Newborn Sleep
Sleep training is a hot topic—and a growing industry. It only takes a few sleepless nights for a parent to start Googling “how to get my baby to sleep longer.” That said, when people ask about my approach to infant sleep training, I’m honest: it doesn’t really apply to newborns.
Most pediatricians and sleep experts recommend waiting until a baby is at least 4 to 6 months old before any structured sleep training—and even then, it depends on the baby’s readiness, not just their age.
Newborns are biologically designed to wake frequently. Their stomachs are small, so they need to eat every couple of hours. Their sleep cycles are short and irregular, and they haven’t yet developed a circadian rhythm, meaning they can’t tell the difference between day and night. Sleeping alone in a crib or bassinet is also unfamiliar for them; until birth, they’ve only ever known the safety and closeness of their birth parent’s body.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, newborns typically feed 8–12 times over 24 hours. That’s every 2 to 3 hours, day and night [AAP, 2020]. They’re not waking up for no reason but because they’re hungry, growing, adjusting, and, honestly, just doing what babies do.
I often tell parents that the early days are full of trial and error. Even when something works one night, it may not work the next. Babies are constantly growing and changing, and patterns can shift quickly, so there’s rarely one “magic” solution.
So What Can You Do During the Newborn Stage?
While I don’t “sleep train” newborns, I do support sleep in gentle, responsive ways. Think of it as laying the foundation for healthy sleep habits down the line.
Here’s what that looks like in practice:
Helping parents recognize tired cues before baby gets overtired (an overtired baby can be harder to settle)
Supporting safe sleep practices (firm sleep surface, no loose bedding, room-sharing)
Encouraging calm, consistent bedtime and nap routines (dim lighting, rhythmic movement like rocking or swaying, soft music or white noise)
Using day/night cues to begin establishing circadian rhythms
Offering tools and strategies for soothing baby back to sleep in nurturing, sustainable ways
This approach is often referred to as sleep shaping or responsive sleep support.
Sleep is Developmental—Not a Contest
Just like crawling, walking, or talking, sleep develops at different times for different babies. Even still, it is easy to compare milestones with other families or even your other kids. Maybe your friend’s baby slept eight-hour stretches at six weeks, and your baby still wakes every three hours at three months. It’s easy to wonder if you’re doing something wrong.
You’re not.
Some babies are natural sleepers. Some are more wakeful. The same is said for adults! Both are completely normal.
And while social media might have you believing that a perfectly routine baby is what makes you a successful parent, the truth is: what matters most is that you’re responsive, supported, and getting the help you need during this season.
A Note to Parents Interviewing Doulas or Nannies
If you’re not sure what to ask when it comes to newborn sleep, here are a few helpful questions:
“What’s your approach to supporting newborn sleep?”
“How do you help establish routines without forcing schedules?”
“How do you support parents through the hard nights?”
These kinds of questions invite real conversation and help you find someone whose approach aligns with your values and needs.
Sleep will come. Routines will evolve. And one day, you might just look back fondly on those sleepless nights where your baby just wanted to be rocked to sleep.
You got this!
References and Resources:
American Academy of Pediatrics. (HealthyChildren.org, 2020).
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/Pages/default.aspx
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Safe Sleep Guidelines.
https://www.cdc.gov/sids/index.htm
American Academy of Pediatrics. Safe Sleep Practices
https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/safe-sleep/?srsltid=AfmBOorMXtGbt7wuEn4nCk-YojPLgcqBjAn0QsPNYbNU2ii9sfLVYJ3D
Stanford Medicine’s Children's Health. Infant Sleep Needs
https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=infant-sleep-90-P02237
