Adjusting to an Unexpected C-Section
April is Cesarean Awareness Month—a time often focused on educating families about birth options and reducing unnecessary C-sections. While those conversations are important, I also want to hold space for the many parents who do have cesareans, especially when it wasn’t part of the plan. This post is for you. Your birth story matters.
One in three births in the United States is a C-section—a relatively high number when compared to the WHO’s recommendations for optimal maternal and neonatal outcomes. There’s a lot of conversation around C-sections: Are they always necessary? Are they simply more convenient for medical staff? Are they the “easy way out”?
No matter where your opinions land, if you or someone you know is pregnant, it’s statistically likely that a C-section might be part of the story. And I want to acknowledge and honor that experience this Cesarean Awareness Month.
Unplanned C-Section Anxiety
Your birth plan is often one of the first real experiences of parenthood, where, no matter how much time and research you put into constructing the “ideal” outcome, reality may have a different plan.
A family may prepare for a vaginal birth only to find, in the eleventh hour, that a medical complication requires a complete change—mentally and physically preparing for surgery instead. Whether due to an emergency, a decision made after hours (or days) of labor, or a change of plans just before delivery, an unexpected C-section can stir up a swirl of emotions: relief, fear, confusion, disappointment, even guilt.
All of it is valid. All of it deserves space.
Here are a few thoughts and tips for adjusting to life after an unexpected cesarean:
1. Disappointment is Natural
You might find yourself feeling disappointed or guilty about the change in plans. There's still a lingering belief in some circles that C-sections are “less than” vaginal births. I've had clients say things like, “My body didn’t do what it was supposed to do.”
While that feeling is completely natural and worthy of acknowledgment, it’s not a belief you need to carry. You may even move through the stages of grief as you process a birth experience you didn’t expect. Be gentle with yourself. Finding support—from friends, a doula, a therapist, or parent groups—can help create space for these feelings to be seen and softened.
2. Recovery Will Take Time
Recovery from any birth is necessary, but recovering from a C-section means healing from childbirth and major abdominal surgery. It’s okay (and necessary!) to lean on others during this time. Healing can take six to eight weeks, and it’s important to allow yourself rest and care.
You may have had goals for your postpartum period that now need to be delayed or adjusted, and that’s okay. Taking care of yourself first is what allows you to care for your baby with more presence and strength.
3. Bonding Can Happen on Your Own Time
Sometimes, a C-section interrupts the early bonding moments that many parents envision. You may fear you missed something essential. But bonding doesn’t happen in one perfect moment—it happens again and again.
Feeding, changing diapers, contact naps, late-night lullabies—these are all moments of connection. Your baby knows your voice, your smell, and your presence. You are their safe place.
4. Get Creative with the Setup
An unexpected recovery might mean your original postpartum setup no longer works. Maybe you planned to babywear around the house, but now you need to limit time on your feet. Maybe feeding requires more physical support. Maybe the nursery rocking chair isn't quite as comfortable as you’d hoped.
Let go of rigid expectations and play around with your setup. One client of mine found that the changing table was the perfect place to connect with her baby—it was at a comfortable height and didn’t strain her healing body. Another found that a bedside bassinet offered the ideal mix of convenience and comfort.
Flexibility here isn’t failure—it’s creativity and resilience in action.
5. Lean on Your People
The common thread in all of these tips: Let others help you.
Asking for support can feel vulnerable. I often see clients hesitate to ask me for help, even though that's exactly what I’m there for! Your support system can include a partner, family, friends, a doula, a postpartum care provider, or even a parent group.
And help doesn’t always have to mean dishes and diapers—it can be simple companionship. Some of my favorite moments with clients involve coffee chats about anything but babies. These light, human moments help mark the return of you, outside of parenthood.
You’re Doing Something Hard—and Beautiful
Postpartum recovery is an emotional journey for anyone, but adding the layer of an unexpected surgery can turn expectations upside down.
Give yourself time to heal—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This healing will lay the foundation for your parenting journey, preparing you for all the unexpected (and beautiful) things life will bring.
