“Productivity” in Postpartum
If you are anything like me, you have a never ending to-do list that just keeps piling up. Calls to make, appointments to set, packages to send, cleaning to do. Some days, the list is so long I freeze and find myself unable to do any of it. This is common for people with ADHD, but I’ve noticed it in postpartum clients of mine as well. I think it’s totally natural to see a mountain of tasks and feel helpless. The easier option can really seem like just giving up.
Over the years, I’ve heard all kinds of productivity techniques. My mom would often reference “eating the frog,” meaning you tackle the hardest or biggest task first to get it out of the way. In college, I learned about the Pomodoro technique, where you work in 25-minute intervals, the five-minute try, where you dedicate five minutes to starting a task to beat procrastination, and one that a professor coined the “zombie technique,” which was basically dissociation. While I’ve found these methods helpful for at times, I’ve still often found myself back in a state of paralysis just thinking about where to begin.
In college, it got so bad that it affected my mental health. I had my first panic attack over a paper that was due the next day and nowhere near done. I didn’t understand how other people were able to manage their time and complete their tasks while I couldn’t. I felt like a failure, like my life was over. I was hyperventilating on the floor when I texted a crisis help line. A volunteer told me, “Turn it in incomplete.” I didn’t understand. I thought, I can’t do that, that would be so embarrassing, I’ll get a failing grade. They replied, “Then you get a failing grade, and you try again next time.” At the time, it still didn’t make much sense. But I did it. I got a D on that paper. I felt ashamed that I didn’t do better. But I survived. And all these years later, I recognize that my mental health is always worth more than the perceived perfection I was attempting.
So I’m not here to give you advice on how to be more productive. I think there’s plenty of literature on that. I just want to let you know that it’s okay. It’s okay if you aren’t able to complete every task on your list today or even this week. It’s okay to ask others for help or perspective. It’s okay to let go of the idea of perfection in order to get something done. And it’s really okay if that thing is simply a shower.
The early weeks (and months) after welcoming a baby are raw, disorienting, and full of unseen labor. You are recovering, adjusting, learning, feeding, soothing, functioning on very little sleep, and yet the dishes still pile up, the laundry still stacks, and the appointments still need to be made. It can feel impossible to keep up. But your mental wellbeing is a top priority, and caring for yourself is just as important as caring for your baby. Sometimes that means letting things go. Sometimes that means turning something in “incomplete.” Sometimes that means asking for help.
You are not a failure for feeling overwhelmed. You are a human being in transition, doing your best. And that is more than enough.
Crisis Text Line
Text HOME or HOLA to 741741
The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline
Call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262)
